slowly surely + xyz : a journey of (re)discovery

I AM. Sapiophilic 


By InspiredJourney


At one point, my anger was a fever pitch.

So much so, I was on a call with Hervé, my friend living in just outside of Montréal, expressing my thought of stealing taking the money all monies I had forwarded to Fritz.

I was incensed at seeing him pay for construction supplies and had not replaced the lock I dutifully paid to replace. It was in no way my responsibility to pay for their shortcomings, as it related to other operation costs, they obviously couldn’t afford.

Given that I was working the ‘opening shift’, and had access to all the funds of the previous day’s sales, it would have been easy to thieve the money. That is, if that were my nature.

Granted, I was on the call venting this half-cocked idea, because it was a way to vent, given that I wasn’t interested in stealing, no matter how wrong the situation felt.

Herve was, of course, was the voice of reason: “Ummm, I don’t knowww. If I am you, I would have done the same in offering the money to repair what I felt I had damaged. I understand you’re angry. If I’m you, I wouldn’t take the money. You couldn’t get in trouble in a foreign country.”

The latter part of his point was lost on me, because in my moment of anger I didn’t care. I was only moved by my emotions.

Somewhere inside of me, my nature shone bright as a beacon; allowing me to verbally vent knowing I wouldn’t jeopardize my freedom in a Mexican jail, nor compromise my integrity.

A couple of days later, I noticed a new lock

I continue my days as all others that came before, eating locally, mingling a bit, writing, enjoying the cleansing effect of sun and sweat, while trying to steer clear of any silliness.


The latter part of that statement, silliness, was never far from reach for some.

… and so the story goes …

Standing at the local breakfast hotspot waiting for my to-go order, non other than Satantress Magdalene walks up and spouts: So, I hear you were with a guy last night.

Me [confused; complete with furrowed brow screw face]: What?!
Magdalene: I saw Margeaux and she told me she saw you with some guy last night.

My blood pressure spiked. I was so damn sick of this beast. She and Margeaux had finally stepped in it with me, and I lost any need to continue being civil.

It was now in my best interest (to keep a blood vessel from bursting) to check them both. HARD.

Before I could even think to check the nastiest tone about to come from me, the words pierced my lips and vomited all over her: “Is talking about nothing all you two have to do with your lives?”

She, equally confused or surprised and stunned and dare I say slightly frightened retreats in a scurry: I’m sorry. Nevermind.

It was too late. I was ready to just hard check Non Beauty and The Beast, the way a defensively lineman does a quarterback in a Superbowl. They are playing for all the rights: bragging, rings, records and money.

My final day at Hostel Sunken Place was approaching. I would leave having cleared any frustration and crack their faces all at once.

I get my food, and walk back to the dead place. I see Margeaux, in her usual position of lingering and overseeing at the reception desk.

I only see red.

I pride myself on being as civil as possible, and because the area is filled with other people, I quietly blurt “Margeaux, may I speak with you for a moment?”

I step just outside. Because the exterior wall is only made of wooden slats, I’m in full view of anyone that may have been watching.

She approached, with this same puzzled look The Beast wore as she tried registering my disdain trivial talk.

That angered me more. My pulse increased and my breath shallow.

First and foremost, I question why Beast Supreme Magdalene is approaching me about being seen with a man.

She shrugs, while feigning no knowledge as to why.

She, unsuccessfully, round robins for a couple of minutes.

She then attempts to turn the tables; citing I had not been fair nor lived up to my agreed upon responsibilities.

I dead this part of her defense, but asking she knew what my agreed upon obligations were.

She did not, and finally drops the defensive posture and tone while accepting and stating she wasn’t aware of what I laid out in front of her.

I further check her: Second, what you thought you were reporting about me was a lie. Third, there is no reason my name needs to come from your mouth about anything you may see, or think you see with regard to anything. I’m certain there are other more mature things you and she can find to do with your time that gossiping about literally nothing.

She quakes in her proverbial boots, while attempting to explain the why any of what I ‘did’ with a man I was seen with was even a topic of discussion.

It mattered not to me, because I’m well aware a lot of people are functioning on a base level, and sex is their lens; a barometer for how to engage and live their lives.

As a sapiosexual, that baseness is a lost cause with me.

Hence one aspect of why the constant silliness finally wore.

The one benefit was hashing it out with Fritz, Non Beauty Margeaux and The Beast Magdalene at a final round table.

10 responses to “I AM. Sapiophilic ”

  1. John F says:

    It’s interesting to see the story building and especially the emotions. It’s easy to jump to conclusions and become paranoid about others. There are some interesting parellels with life in many places of work.

  2. Helene says:

    Wow, interesting post! It’s true that a lot of people concern themselves with gossiping over things that don’t concern them or are irrelevant, just for their personal gratification. It’s a shame really! Thanks for sharing:)

  3. Bailey says:

    I really enjoyed reading this – not only because of your writing style but because I could see how this situation holds so true of so many in life, even outside of the workplace. It was a good reminder on what a delicate balance you have to have when dealing with these types of people.

  4. Jade Braham says:

    This is a great post! I really enjoyed reading this. Your writing is beautiful which really develops some of the fundamental lessons in this piece for example the idea that stealing is wrong!

  5. Arnav Mathur says:

    Really enjoyed reading this post. Definitely the first of its kind to have come across my eyes for sure.
    Loved the writing and how well you have penned it down, to appear relatable to everyone.

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