slowly surely + xyz : a journey of (re)discovery

I AM. Reflecting

By InspiredJourney


As mentioned here, my time spent in Atlanta were filled with needless shit stirring.

Baba had declared he was going to get Wynton down to the shop to ‘see’ me. Of course, I respond with there being no need for him to make that happen, given I had zero interest. I actually have no interest in a relationship with any male for that matter.

The centerpiece episode happened day three or four.

Baba, Carmen and I are sitting together. Baba and I are carrying on in our usual back and forth banter about anything he’s said to get a rise. Carmen’s expression, as I had seen it before, was a bit perplexed and tired of hearing the nonsense. But, he and I carried on.

I can’t tell you what we spoke about, as it was nothing important. However, at one point, he threw in a curve ball that left Carmen not speaking to me…lol.

With mischief in his eyes and tone he says to Carmen: “Wynton likes her. He likes Joy.”

Me: [Loudly] DON’T SAY THAT! That’s not true. Don’t start rumors like that. I haven’t seen Wynton in years. Just Stop!

In a sly tone, he persists: “He does. He likes Joy.”

He laughs.

I’m loud and bothered in my protest, but at some point see the Carmen giving Baba an annoyed rolling side eye with tilted head to accompany. It’s all one seamless action.

He laughs.

She’s obviously bothered but doesn’t ever address what’s been said.

I take note.

I’m not sure how that day ended, but I do know Carmen had zero words beyond hello and goodbye for me after that day.

Baba had been hinting at various guys he thought I might want toconnect with. Wynton is one of two that he has consistently thrown around as someone I might want to pursue having a relationship with.

I’ll admit I find Wynton physically attractive. However, he is gravely lacking when it comes to any kind of mental stimulation. To a sapiosexual like myself, that’s a complete deal breaker. Full Stop.

Days expired.

During these times, there were moments I’d assist The Girls (Robbie and Angelica) with their homework. I didn’t mind, but was hyper-aware that I’m dealing with someone else’s children. I don’t take that lightly, and had no interest in crossing any boundary she may have as it relates to her children. You see, Carmen and I were similar with
regard to some parenting. We both aspired to have the best for our respective children; be it the healthiest food and great education. For example, her girls read labels, and don’t eat certain foods. They don’t have their ears pierced, and don’t wear nail polish because it contains formaldehyde. I respect that she has a core of consciousness for and about her children.

However, after a few days of Carmen not really having any words for me, hello being the extent, I figured it best to not risk crossing a boundary.

This, further pushed and confirmed, when I catch the movement and see what lay in the peripheral vision of my right eye. The Girls walking and each holding one hand of the person between them,. All walking in unison, are in the back room. I’m sitting, behind the machine, in my little corner, not bothering a soul, intentionally. The three stand there. My brain trying to make sense of why they are walking this big person to me.

I look.

It’s Wyton.

Unaware of my presencse, he’s wearing a big smile on his face as he’s ushered by the girls.

But then he looks left, and the smile became more purposeful.

He registered it was me, Joy.

He smiles a bigger genuine smile. He speaks in a tone only a smile and his Caribbean accent permits. He warmly greets me: “HEEEEY JOYYYY!”

As he looks and attempts to navigate pass the obstacle I set: “How are you? What are you doing in Atlanta? Come, give me a hug!”

I respond in the tone of a woman who is pleasantly surprised and remembering Wynton; the moment I first ever spoke with him; our time together; our time apart; on calls; things said and things done; things wished and things accepted: “Heeey…Wyyyntonnn. Yes, I’m here. I’m not sure how long ill be here.”

Him: You never know.

Me: True.

He’s still smiling.

The one cool thing about him is his general disposition. He seems like life is grand, and never has a worry in the world.

We speak about about life. He asks about Grem, I ask if he’s still married. He said no, but was still wearing a wedding band.

I pointedly state: So, how long have you and Carmen been a thing? You two ARE a thing aren’t you?

He responds affirmatively: Yeah. That’s my sweetheart.

I told him I could tell by her reaction during the time Baba was talking shit about him liking me. We laugh.

During our chat, he’s had made his way into the line of the open doorway. It’s a path that allows one to see happenings to the back from the moment they fully enter into the shop. And yes, lady luck struck; Carmen walks in.

I hear The Girls: MOMMYYYYY!

Their usual greeting once she entered.

I watch the slight panic look on his face. He steadies himself, remaining calm.

We spoke a bit more before he knew he was pushing it with Carmen: “Joy, I’m going to take care of something with Tchad quickly. I’ll be back in a minute. I going to come down and hang with you here. We have some things to talk about. I remember. We have secrets.”

Me: We don’t have any secrets.

Wynton: You’re right. I shouldn’t create a situation where you and two [Carmen and I] would be here fighting over me.

Me: HA! Fighting over a man. She fights other women because of a guy?! I’d never. I don’t have that much interest in men to EVER fight anyone. Sad if she does.

For an instant, I felt bad of the opinion he held of her. Or, perhaps her fighting over men were true, and that’s sad in itself.

He exits stage left.

Carmen, poor Carmen bothered to the point of no return.

And me, I get the most stern look I’ve ever had from another person when making this declaration.

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